


Kintsugi

by UrsaeMinoris



Series: What doesn't kill us... [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Image, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Gentle Kissing, Hurt/Comfort, Late Night Conversations, M/M, POV Shiro (Voltron), Phantom pain, Post-War, Scars, Sheithlentines 2020, Shiro (Voltron)-centric, hoverbike accident, mentions of kuron, s8 doesn't exist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:34:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22727698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UrsaeMinoris/pseuds/UrsaeMinoris
Summary: Shiro is having a really bad night. Keith is there to comfort him.–“Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum. As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise”-The bathroom lit up as he entered. The pale reflection in the mirror made his heart leap. Somehow, he had forgotten the white hair. He looked aghast and disheveled. He barely recognized his face. He had changed so much in the last few years, that he sometimes was startled by his own appearance, when caught unaware.
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Series: What doesn't kill us... [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1634278
Comments: 20
Kudos: 43
Collections: Sheithlentines 2020





	1. Broken

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Illiad_And_Oddity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Illiad_And_Oddity/gifts).



> This is my gift for Iliad_And_Oddity for sheithlentines 2020.  
> I hope you enjoy it! You didn’t say anything against angst in your wish list, so I hope you don’t mind some hurt before the comfort, but in case it’s not your cup of tea… You can just jump to the second chapter to read the comfort only! It should be easy to understand even without reading the first part.

Shiro leaned forward; moving his center of mass to the front of the hoverbike helped the acceleration. The desert was baking under the sun, the wind whistled in his ears, and the skin of his face was stiff with dust. He laughed from the elation of the speed.

The cliff was close. Same old cliff, like in the old times... The blood pumped through his veins in anticipation of the jump, as he prepared for the maneuver. He could not get the timing wrong.

A loud clang, a roar from the motor, the sensation of something getting stuck in the engine…. The hoverbike not responding anymore... The cliff, the fall, the collision with a hard surface… The echoes of the impact reverberating through his bones. A sharp pain in his right arm. His face half buried in the dirt, the sand making it hard to breathe…

***

Shiro woke up to a dark room, only lit by Atlas’ blue phosphorescent lights. His breathing was still erratic from the nightmare. Of course, it was a nightmare. His right arm was numb and aching. He must have fallen asleep in a wrong position, and the cramp in his arm had caused the dream.

He let his eyes wander the room, slowly connecting with reality again. The nightmare had felt so real. Keith was snoring quietly by his side, and that was the most soothing sound in the world. He could see his peaceful face, bathed in blue light. They never had the room completely dark, as Shiro couldn’t handle it anymore since his captivity. He pushed away that memory. He needed to focus on here, and now. He was in his bed with Keith, in their room, on board of the Atlas. According to the clock, it was 02:37 am, Earth time. He still had a few hours to sleep if he managed to calm down enough. Right now, his heart was still beating fast. He moved a little around to relax his tense muscles. Maybe if he stretched a bit, he could ease the pain in his arm, too. His eyes fell on the prosthetic on the bedside table, turned off for the night as usual. Right. He had no right arm anymore.

The brutal realization made him dizzy and nauseous. He couldn’t stay in bed anymore. He got up, his legs still shaky from the shock, his skin sticky with sweat, and moved to their private bathroom.

The bathroom lit up as he entered. The pale reflection in the mirror made his heart leap. Somehow, he had forgotten the white hair. He looked aghast and disheveled. He barely recognized his face. He had changed so much in the last few years, that he sometimes was startled by his own appearance, when caught unaware. And with the dream still playing on loop in his mind, in which he looked just like before his journey… there was a strange distortion between his perception of himself and his image in the mirror. His eyes averted the empty space where his right arm should be. The arm he still acutely felt, numb and tingling with pins and needles. He knew what this was; Keith had convinced him to get help for his phantom pain. Weirdly enough, things had first gotten worse after the war, as if his brain finally allowed itself to focus on him again. He leaned on the washbasin. He dropped his gaze, unable to look at himself any longer.

He waved in front of the sensor. As the cold water flowed, he cupped his hand, gathered some of it, and splashed it on his face. It helped him wake up, and reconnect with the present. He looked at his reflection again. At his tired face, at the scar barring his nose. The Altean tech on his right side, dark while in night mode. The scars from his fights as a gladiator and as a paladin. Well, this body hadn’t been in the arena, those scars had been added to the clone’s body to imitate his previous scars... The thought made his stomach twist.


	2. Mended

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thankfully, Shiro isn't alone...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter can be read individually if you don't want to read the angsty first part!

“Ah, there you are, Shiro.”

Keith appeared in the door frame. He looked still half asleep, his hair a cute mess. Shiro chuckled.

Keith crossed his arms, defensive. “What?”

“Bed head.” To his dismay, Keith tried to smooth his hair; to his amusement, it only made it worse. Keith’s gaze returned to Shiro, who could see his concerned frown in the mirror.

“Are you ok, Shiro?...”

“Better, now you’re here.” He hoped it would be enough to reassure Keith. It wasn’t.

“What happened?”

“Nightmare. I’m all right, now.”

Keith approached him from behind; he wrapped his arms around his waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. “s’okay. You’re safe.”

Such a simple statement, and yet it helped. Shiro covered Keith’s hands with his own. “Thank you.”

They stood in silence for a moment.

“It wasn’t even about the arena this time,” Shiro heard himself say.

“Yeah?” Keith’s tone invited Shiro to say more, without pushing it.

“Yeah. Hoverbike accident. Funny, because as a teenager, I did have a hoverbike accident where I broke my arm. Maybe that’s why I dreamed of it when my arm hurt.”

Keith’s left hand moved up, gently massaging Shiro’s arm.

“Other arm.” He noticed his own grin in the reflection. He shouldn’t find this amusing. But Keith’s expression of realization and worry took the fun out of it. “It’s ok, Keith. It’s not hurting that bad. It just feels… numb, mostly.”

Keith awkwardly lowered his hand again. Shiro was still starring at the mirror. “I really look like a wreck.”

“You’re tired. It’s three in the morning.” Keith’s voice was muffled, as he had tucked his head against Shiro’s neck.

“No, I mean…. in general. I used to be handsome.” He scoffed, embarrassed at how that sounded. “Not to brag. But I was quite popular at the Garrison before… everything happened. I didn’t think much of it, but I had game, and I knew it.” He felt Keith nod in agreement, chin digging in his shoulder. “And now… I’m just a mess. Look at that. White hair like an old man. Scars all over my body.”

“D’you find Allura looks old?”

“No, of course not!”

“Well. She has white hair too, and she’s beautiful.”

“Keith.”

“What?” Keith pouted. “I’m just saying: you’re beautiful.”

“K… Keith,” Shiro repeated, because he apparently was unable to utter a whole sentence now. Seeing his own face turn red in the mirror did little to help the situation.

“It’s true!” protested Keith. “You think you have no game anymore? Maybe you should ask Matt about what the cadets say in their chats. It’s embarrassing.”

Shiro had a hard time following. “What… are you talking about?”

Keith hesitated. “It’s just. Matt’s part of some Garrison online chats, and he showed me stuff. You don’t want to read that.”

“What? Why would Matt show you that?”

“He just. Found it funny, what they said about us.” Keith hid his face by nuzzling against Shiro’s neck, but his ears were red. It was ridiculously endearing.

“Us? So not just about me?” asked Shiro, failing to suppress the grin tugging at his lips.

“Not the point.”

“I know Matt. He showed you what they were saying about _you_ , didn’t he?”

Keith huffed. “Fine. They were talking about both of us. But they were saying all sorts of things about you, and... I can tell you. They don’t mind the scars, or whatever. Find them cool, even.”

Shiro patted Keith’s hands, as his boyfriend was still hugging him from behind.

This prompted Keith to confess. “He said each of us paladins have our own fanclub. But you’re the most popular, Shiro.” He paused and added with a fond smile. “Of course.”

“Because we saved the Earth.”

“Well yeah. But also, they find you hot, Shiro.” Keith smirked. He was the one who looked hot. “And well. I agree.”

“Keith!”

“You know it’s true.”

Shiro turned around, and cupped Keith’s face in his hand. He tilted Keith’s head up and bowed down to reach his lips. They kissed long and slow. When their lips parted, he was taken aback by Keith’s tender expression. 

“I love you Shiro. You’re perfect just the way you are.”

Shiro wanted to reply something, but a lump in his throat kept him from talking. He should be used to this by now, but he never stopped being in awe that Keith loved him back.

Keith gently brushed Shiro’s bangs out of his eyes. “You ok?” he whispered. 

“Yes, I just...I love you too,” was all Shiro managed to say.

Keith smiled and kissed him again, just a peck; then, he took his hand and guided him to their bed. They sat down on it. Keith kissed Shiro’s nose, right on the scar. Shiro huffed. “You don’t need to do that!”

“Heh. But I want to.” Keith intertwined their fingers. “You know, Shiro, I was sad when I saw your scars the first time, because it meant you got hurt. But when I see them now, it reminds me how strong you are. Because you survived all that.”

Shiro reached to Keith’s face, and caressed the scar he remembered burning onto his skin. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“You think it looks ugly?” Keith rasped, his brow furrowed. 

Shiro inhaled sharply. How could Keith worry about that? “No! Of course not, Keith. I just hate that I hurt you. You look stunning”

Keith’s mouth stretched in a half smile, and he looked away, embarrassed. When he spoke again, his voice was low and tense. “We already talked about this. It wasn’t your fault. And… I hurt you too.”

“Keith… I was trying to kill you. What you did saved me.” 

“…I cut your arm, Shiro!” protested Keith, his voice trembling. Shiro wanted to protest, but Keith continued, softly: “I think we’re more than quits”

“I… I guess,” Shiro had to admit.

Keith squeezed his hand. “Shiro, if you don’t think my scar is ugly, then why would yours be?”

Shiro stayed stunned. He had never considered Keith’s scars repelling. He had never thought they made him broken, in the way he thought about his own scars. Keith looked gorgeous, and the scars only added to it. Just like Keith had said about Shiro, Keith’s scars were a testimony to how brave he was. Keith was still staring at him, and they locked eyes. Shiro leaned in and kissed the scar on his cheek, a retaliation for when Keith had kissed his nose. “Thank you,” he whispered in his beloved’s ear. Keith let out a delighted chuckle, and answered with a kiss on Shiro’s shoulder, close to the prosthetic’s base. Shiro, in return, kissed the scar on Keith’s right shoulder. He remembered too well how it had happened on the Blades’ trial; Keith’s cry of agony still haunted him. Keith chuckled and kissed a scar on Shiro’s left arm. He then lay his head on Shiro’s shoulder with a content sigh. Shiro wrapped his arm around him, and they just sat there, enjoying each other’s proximity.

“How’s your arm?”

Shiro realized he had stopped paying attention to the pain; it was bearable, now. Mostly numbness, but no ache or tingling sensation anymore. “Better,” he admitted. 

“Good.”

They relaxed, in comfortable silence. Keith’s weight against him kept Shiro grounded. This physical reminder that he wasn’t alone to face his issues, and that he was loved, helped him feel safe, and shake off the weird state of mind in which he had woken up. His body felt heavier as the tiredness caught up with him, and he let himself lean into Keith. After a while, Shiro was barely awake enough to hear Keith hum close to his ear; he was dimly aware of being laid down. He felt Keith’s warm body press against his as he followed him down and spooned him. Shiro took a breath in to say… he didn’t even know what, but Keith interrupted him, in a soft voice. “Shiro, sleep.”

And so, Shiro slept.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this! I was really happy getting this prompt, as scars is a theme I really enjoy to explore for sheith. You may notice this work is part of a series, where you can find another fic I wrote on this theme.
> 
> Don't hesitate to share your thoughts with me here, on twitter at <https://twitter.com/UrsaeMinoris2>, on tumblr at <https://ursae-minoris-world.tumblr.com/> or on Pillowfort at <https://www.pillowfort.social/ursaeminoris>
> 
> \--
> 
> this fic on twitter: <https://twitter.com/UrsaeMinoris2/status/1228507334760108032>  
> on tumblr: <https://ursae-minoris-world.tumblr.com/post/190840045428/what-doesnt-kill-us>  
> on pillowfort: <https://www.pillowfort.social/posts/1099560>


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